Dog House Ramblings

Don't do me any favors

So as I've probably mentioned before, I'm in the recreational marine business. I sell boats and boat stuff. And to be totally immodest, I'm pretty good at it. I guess it's my ability to comprehend what I read that makes it easy. Knowing how to sail doesn't hurt.

And (more immodesty) I've built one hell of a parts website for the business where I work... We (I) get no end of compliments about how easy it is to navigate.

There in lies the problem... It's too easy. So business is sometimes too good. Especially with the weak dollar. The shop is getting orders from all over the freaking planet. And being the "whiz" that I am, I get to handle the international orders.

P I T A

Thankfully, most of these customers know what they want. They just need to know how much it's going to cost to ship it. So before taking a single cent, I spend a lot of time estimating package sizes, weighing parts and looking for cheap shipping. Most of my customers are grateful.

Then there are the idiots... Like a customer from one of the US territories (yeah... I know... Not really an international order, but still a PITA from a shipping point of view). This guy doesn't know how to RTFM. And since he's totally alienated his local parts dealer (who I've spoken with) he has to shop on the net.

So he waves his hands via email and expects me to figure it out. It usually takes 5 or 6 emails and a couple of phone calls to figure out what he actually wants, but I eventually get him the parts. Of course, the first credit card number he gives me never works. Even the second one can be problematic. And the whole time, he's whining about having broken boats and not having parts.

So last week, I was trying to wrap up another order for him. He's got me writing two invoices for one shipment. One for the business and one for his personal boat. So I've got two credit card numbers. Neither works. I try to call... Nothing. I send email... nothing.

I'm fed up. I cancel the order because he's not paid for it... After all, sending parts that aren't paid for is just bad business.

So this moron submits the order again. Except it's different. He's specifying the wrong parts and changing things from the previous order. He's not listened and is about to make a huge mistake. I really don't want to deal with him, but call anyway.

Voicemail. Again....

I leave a message.

Nothing....

Five days later, we get a nasty email at the shop from this same moron. He's cancelled his order and hopes "We don't loose any more customers."

With customers like him, who needs enemies.

Sheesh... I'd say good riddance, but he's a bad penny and will probably be back. And as much as it should be allowed, you can't fire customers.

Labels: stupid customers

posted by The Dog @ 8:34 PM